Ang mga Lihim ng Diwatang itim

Is it December Song?

Hearing the Popular Days’ - "December Song" makes me comeback to those times, I can still barely hear girls screaming for this super-indie or shall i say hot guys so they say from the center stage of Mayric’s.

Remebering those times always make me smile. It’s always been a good memory to keep and cherish with. Life’s so easy when all I have to think was how i’d get to work at 6 o’clock in the morning and run to school at 5:00 in the afternoon.

I always wished that someone will be with me and watch the gigs, watch me as I sing. Just a presence would be so nice.

I smiled…

no one came…

we’ll there was…

It didnt took so long though… talk about another band that starts with letter "."…

And it didn’t took a while…

to be alone again…

Everything seems to be normal…

I stared at myself in the mirror in front of me, browse, eyes seems getting smaller and smaller because of the blurryness that seems to get worst and worst everyday. I put some of pink liquid in my cheeks and same liquid i applied on my lips until i got the effect that i want, powdered my face a little and off I go.

I received a text message, seems so routinary,  I tried to act so normal about it, even tried to ignore it yet  i got excited about it. yeah, still nothing beats the feelings, it’s hard to resist everything. I was hoping there’s change, and yes there was, though I don’t know if I could wait longer.

I watched the jeepney passed, waiting for the right one for me. Some stoped, saw some with the sign where i was supposed to go, though i just let it off. 

Whats wrong? i just don’t like it.. Stupid me.. I always let everything go and wait with no reason at all..

Masarap pala ang istarbucks…

Lalo pag libre… kulang na nga lang wag kong ubusin ang laman, at huwag itapon ang plastik cup…

Nag sesenti lang…

Salamat… =)

It’s hard to be in a two way path

When you dont know where to go…

And you can’t help but ask your self,

Will everything be alright if I move on…?

Will they tell me Im in a wrong trail

or just let me cross the bridge?

Till Im drowned deep in the quicksand

and find myself in a wrong place…

WIll a single step lead me to the truth

or taste the juice of lies and falsehood

will I lay myself in bed of flowers

or clinging to chain of thorns…

How will i know the difference

between the faces of good and bad

if you find your self in front of evil

wearing a beautiful mask…

Will I ever wake up in this kind of dream

Can I sleep with all lights on…?

Will all the fear becomes my strength

And stand still when there is storm…

Dear God,

They take my world apart

Stab my back

Broke my heart

And I came falling down

Im tryin’ to make them proud

With things that I have found

To me they turn around

Began to laugh out loud

Tears came running down

Lord, hold my hands, don’t let me go

My knees are weak I feel so low

To you I gave it all

I surrender my soul

Enter into me

Let me see you

Let me near you

Let me feel you

Let me touch you

Lord, I belong to you…

"where are the flying papers?"
"let the flyers fly!"

"Do you have fire?"
"oh no sir, but i have lighter!"

"I don’t internet because it’s bad for the environment!"
eh…^^’

***
I watched Relasyon lastnight by Ishmael Bernal, where Vilma Santos won Best Actress at the Film Academy of the Philippines (FAP). also actor Christopher de Leon stars in this movie.

***

He sees nothing wrong having a wife and a mistress.

She’ll do everything to make him happy.

***
Vilma:  Kailan kaya tayo magkakaroon ng bahay kahit kwarto lang?

Christopher: … (long silence)

Vilma: I’m sorry, alam kong mahirap yun para sa ‘yo… (then strokes his shoulder). Hindi ko alam   ang gagawin ko kung wala ka, parang nagkaroon ng sentro ang buhay ko…

Christopher: Hindi naman ako mawawala eh…

***

ako: olryt! (eats potato chips).

***

Marilou: ako mahal kita kahit hindi mo ako mahal! independent yun eh…

emil: kaming mga lalake hindi.

emil: Kayong mga babae, in-love kayo 24hrs a day…

Marilou: ibig sabihin kayong mga lalake hindi?

emil: hindi sa ganoon…

***

"binibigay mo, dahil alam mong nakalalamang ka!"
                                                                                - marilou, Relasyon

***

ako: Oo nga! paksyet!

Still up…?

Yes…

Why is it…?

can’t sleep…

Wake from our sleep… dry our tears.. just hold hands… and body’s still.

Before sunrise I’ll run away, before they get me, ill escape.

I can’t look at you now.. you know it’s hard… Packed and get dressed, turn away…

I should… baby I should.

Breath…

Breath…

Baby we need to breath…

Turn around… we cant be safe… you know we don’t have a pick… I

understand… stop baby, stop.

Memorize the lines… from the letters that you gave… I can’t hardly speak… I need to

go, I have to leave…

Silence…

Silence…

Silence…

I’ll sing us a song… a song to keep us warm… a cheer underneath… baby don’t…

don’t tell me to go back and sleep…

(just need to repost this…)

Pinag uusapan ka na naman ng lahat. Nang
iyong kapitbahay, pamilya, at maging ang yong mga kaibigan. Paano kasi, sinira
mo na naman daw ang iyong buhay. Entertainment ka na ngayon para sa lahat, nang
mga taong pilit kinakalkal ang iyong pagkatao, ang talambuhay ng iyong sarili.

Pwedeng-pwedeng pag-usapang at ibahagi sa
iba ang kwentong paulit-ulit na nangyayari: ang paglipad, pagbagsak, baho, pagkadurog
ng iyong puso. Kabisado na nila, pati palitan ng usapang walang kasing pait na kung
tutuusi’y dapat binabaon na sa hukay ng paglimot.

Kilala ka na ng lahat, walang lihim na
hindi naitatago dahil may pakpak ang balita at tenga ang lupa. Sino ba sila? Ang
mga importanteng bahagi ng iyong pagkatao na syang ginagawang pelikula ang buhay
mo. Ginagawang pulutan sa oras ng inuman.

Anong silbi ng pagtago? Wala.

Kamusta ka na? muling itatanong ng mga
taong nakakakilala sayo.. .

Siguro mas bagay kung:

“Kamusta ka na? pa autograph
naman, artista ka na pala!”

Just arrived here in Baguio after a tremendous break-up…oh vacation break… oh well, not fair enough to call it 4-day vacation though… left manila 12:15am. Typhoon stopped yesterday, couldn’t go out of our house. Total wreck for everyone affected. but for a heart ache? that would last for a couple of months as i think it will… or more…

i was waiting for the bus to be blown out by wind… then crash to the ground. unfair for those happy couples inside.. "If you wanna die just leave it to your self!" Yea right. never chase Mr. Death. let him come to you. but if your in a hurry?

So where is my mind?

Just heard pixies sang that line the other day. Maybe just a foul play for a love game. well this life could be so tricky sometime!

yea.

trick or treat?

It was your birth day when I had it done. I had to pierce myself. Call it whatever you like, but I have to do it just to get rid of you, and the feeling that is wrapping me like cold wind inside my chest.

I wished you were happy on that special day of yours. I prayed for it though I know that it was trice the pain of thinking you were enjoying each moment you could be with someone who you CHOSE to be with.

My heart was broken into pieces. You could be happier. You know you could!

I saw you in my dreams just last night. You on your new jacket, inside with that is the shirt, fist time I saw you wore. You changed. One thing struck me, I couldn’t give you that, can’t give you what you want. Even any of it, a sole of it.

You had everything you need. Everything you want. Every bits and pieces this world could offer to you. It’s in your hands now.

And soon it will fade…

Happiness doesn’t lie down there…

You know well it doesn’t…